I nearly got broadsided by a drunk driver, watched him plow into a Long John Silvers, and then saw his penis; AMA

"citizennick" (citizennick) 07/17/2016 at 21:37 • Filed to: None

2

51

Party-vi > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:40

6

Rate that dick 1 - 10

Nerd-Vol > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:41

5

How big was it?

The car

PS9 > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:41

4

Why did you ask to see his penis?

DON’T DENY YOUR ROLE IN THIS, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE

Clown Shoe Pilot > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:41

0

Was he circumcised? Grower or shower?

Your boy, BJR > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:41

5

Cut or uncut?

Shaved or au natural?

yamahog > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:41

14

CRider > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:42

3

Can you even right now?

citizennick > Party-vi 07/17/2016 at 21:43

1

3, solid 4 if the scrotum didn’t look like it was trying to escape his body.

citizennick > Clown Shoe Pilot 07/17/2016 at 21:44

0

I wasn't allowed thorough inspection.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:44

3

Floridaman?

citizennick > Nerd-Vol 07/17/2016 at 21:45

1

2000ish Silverado single-cab long bed. So it was really long.

Chewbakkah > yamahog 07/17/2016 at 21:45

0

How hard was it to finish after smelling the fish?

citizennick > Your boy, BJR 07/17/2016 at 21:46

0

Didn't get as good of a look the LJS employees got.

LongbowMkII > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:46

0

Did you order the fish, shrimp or chicken?

I gotta say I really enjoy the fish grease fried chicken. It’s so wrong...

I gotta get myself some malt vinegar.

Nibby > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:47

0

did it have a ring?

Your boy, BJR > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:48

0

Yeah but that's why I asked the basics instead of exact dimensions.

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:48

2

Did you get the fish or the chicken?

scoob > Nerd-Vol 07/17/2016 at 21:48

4

Beat me off-

I mean

Beat me to it

yamahog > Chewbakkah 07/17/2016 at 21:48

2

...wat?

gmctavish needs more space > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:48

7

Your boy, BJR > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:48

5

Wait is your scrotum INSIDE your body?

citizennick > CRider 07/17/2016 at 21:48

3

I went to get groceries. I got less groceries than planned. Dinner has been ruined.

citizennick > Your boy, BJR 07/17/2016 at 21:49

1

From my angle all I saw was the scrotum. That’s never a good sign.

Your boy, BJR > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:50

1

Was it a good scrotum?

Steve in Manhattan > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:50

0

Was it a pornworthy dick, or just meh, I’ll let him fuck me? And was the truck a sort of apology for the size of the dick?

citizennick > Nibby 07/17/2016 at 21:50

0

He couldn’t even bother himself to wear underwear or a belt, so I doubt there was a ring.

citizennick > Your boy, BJR 07/17/2016 at 21:52

0

Penis to scrotum ratio was not in his favor.

citizennick > Steve in Manhattan 07/17/2016 at 21:53

1

It was a dick worthy of nothing. Talk about a humiliating night for the guy.

Truck was a single cab long bed so maybe?

LongbowMkII > yamahog 07/17/2016 at 21:53

0

I’d say that’s a descalating sequence.

Broadsided: Oh no, hope you’re ok

Crashed into a restaurant: holy shit that’s CRAZY!

Penis flashing: hehe unforeseen penis. Classic.

(Note for fired top gear presenters: 99/100 this is not funny, keep it put away)

citizennick > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 07/17/2016 at 21:54

2

I got the “I think I’ll just try and eat tomorrow”

citizennick > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 07/17/2016 at 21:54

0

Nebraskaman, close

LongbowMkII > Your boy, BJR 07/17/2016 at 21:55

1

Maybe they were outrageously low, like those Japanese squirrels.

Chewbakkah > yamahog 07/17/2016 at 21:56

0

Comment was meant for Nick. Kinja’ed

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 21:59

5

Would you want that to happen in a different order?

citizennick > LongbowMkII 07/17/2016 at 22:01

0

I'll get LJS once in a blue moon and quickly remember why I don't regularly get it. I was on the Main Street while this was all happening.

citizennick > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 07/17/2016 at 22:01

1

I think it escalated perfectly!

not for canada - australian in disguise > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 22:18

2

I guess you could say you got a nice good look at his Long John Silver.

fhrblig > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 22:26

1

Isn’t Long John Silvers’ chicken AWESOME? I could eat my weight in it, and I’m a big boy.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Your boy, BJR 07/17/2016 at 22:27

1

President Rolland asking the questions that might or might not matter.

Rolland for FBI Director 2016

The Compromiser > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 07/17/2016 at 22:42

1

Broadsided by Long John Silver’s penis?

citizennick > fhrblig 07/17/2016 at 22:47

1

You're not the first person to mention this, and I have to agree. While I hardly get LJS I only ever get the chicken.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > The Compromiser 07/17/2016 at 22:52

1

Nailed it

Steve in Manhattan > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 23:03

0

Ken Joung showed off his tiny penis in a Hangover movie. He has my vote ... for anything.

citizennick > Steve in Manhattan 07/17/2016 at 23:29

0

Hah, that was actually a prosthetic.

wacopalypsenow > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 23:45

0

What about the penis? We need to know

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > citizennick 07/17/2016 at 23:54

0

How did you see it? Was he not wearing pants while driving?

Tapas > citizennick 07/18/2016 at 05:37

0

From the shreds of information I have - I gather that he emerged from the wreck in his drunken stupor, told you he had not money but offered to “make it up to you” in another way by showing you his mantube.

I shall hear of no other explanation. Thank you :)

citizennick > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 07/18/2016 at 10:23

0

When he got out of his pickup his pants fell down twice.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > citizennick 07/18/2016 at 14:29

1

Besides the fact he almsot broadsided you and you saw his penis, that must have been hilarious

Bad Idea Hat > fhrblig 07/19/2016 at 15:19

0

I would destroy any amount of Long John Silvers’ chicken placed in front of me.

Bad Idea Hat > LongbowMkII 07/19/2016 at 15:19

0

I had the lasagna.